Judge Me:

So what did I do this weekend?

Nothing really: read and read and read…ate, then read, then ate etcetera.

Tried to watch the Kings Speech again, failed to finish it AGAIN, I hate suffering of any kind.

My camera takes such sh**t photos or I don’t know how to use it but methinks it will be replaced if it doesn’t start behaving *waving a finger at the silly camera*! Everything is either too dark or shockingly bright!

Oh, also took myself to the fictional kingdom of Isla de Sinnebar (which sounds so much like Abu Dhabi by the way) and met up with Sheikh Razi al Maktabi who goes by the nickname Mac *double Lol*. Went past Buenos Aires and eventually settled on an Argentinean ranch for four hours with a staggeringly handsome Argentinean billionaire called Raul. Then finally got bored of all the horse talk and Raul’s dark past and found myself an emotionally repressed Greek tycoon called Lukas.

How, you’re probably all asking and in one weekend nogal? Mills and Boon baby, Mills and Boon. There’s a little bookstore (SKS’s* find) that sells them for R10.00! For some of you this is brain numbing stuff; for me it’s like reading a Soapie or a South American telenovela.

The Hilarity!

This is the kind of stuff that gives feminists their fire.

Let’s start with the titles:

Ruling Sheikh, Unruly Mistress *kwa kwa kwa*

The Vasquez Mistress

The Greek Tycoon’s Convenient Bride

Why do all the women have to be pregnant at the end or in some cases as quickly as possible?

Also, all of the men NEVER want a divorce and all the women threaten to leave at some point and time?

The dark Raul in action:

Raul it’s over.

You’re my wife Faith. I want you back in my bed *tee hee-he he…heeee*.

She gaped at him. You have to be kidding.

Taken aback by her less than enthusiastic response to his statement, Raul frowned. ‘Every relationship goes through rocky patches.’ ‘This isn’t a rocky patch, Raul it’s a mountain range’ *stop...I can’t take it anymore now grunting with laughter, such drama* ‘I told you earlier that there wouldn’t be a divorce’.

The emotionally repressed Lukas also flexing his muscle:

‘Let me make myself clear,’ Lukas said, and his voice was ominously calm. ‘You are not allowed to leave.’

‘I don’t care how powerful you are Lukas, You can’t keep me here. And I’ll tell you right now – the only way I’d stay is if you loved me.’ *RAOFL!*

Why do all the women have to run away at some point, get themselves into trouble and subsequently need to be rescued?

‘Rhiannon, I’ve been looking for you. I heard the noises – I thought it was a hurt animal*snigger*. What is wrong?’

The volatility:

… ‘I hate you Raul’.’I hate you for not believing me. I hate you for marrying me when that wasn’t what you really wanted, but most of all I really, really hate you for not caring that I lost the baby’. Raul swore fluently and stepped towards her but she held up her hand to stop him. ‘Don’t come near me,’ she chocked. Don’t you dare touch me or I’ll injure you.’ *This, funny enough, makes me think of a Nollywood production esp. the last part “Don’t you dare touch me or I’ll injure you.”  :-)*

The men are Neanderthals and all get “trapped” into marriage and because of their sense of honour and duty have to do right by their children blah blah…

I’m not ashamed of you’ he insisted. ‘Why did you come to the Isla de Sinnebar if not to trap me in some way?’ ‘What? That’s absurd. How would I do that when you’re an all powerful king?’ ‘Has it occurred to you that a scandal like this could rock my country? No–I didn’t think so. If I acknowledge this child it will be seen as my first act in power. How will that look to my people? And the mother of that child a foreigner in this, the most traditional of countries.’ *SMH*

The weird as hell names?

Rhiannon for example. Rihanna yes, but Rhiannon? Really?

Side-splitting stuff those Mills and Boon. They’re like comedic soapies.

xoxo