THURSDAY:
PART 1:
What a day: back to back meetings and mini-anxiety attacks throughout the day (I still had a Client breathing down my neck after 17h30). The fun part was the week’s bar evening which was scheduled to kick-off at 16h30; but started a bit late because the bridegroom was late, men these days mara. The theme was a mock wedding for one of the guys at the office – we hosted a WTF mini wedding for him (his wedding was on Saturday – shamz poor thing). Made my merry way to the bar and ended up being a flower girl (I am 1.54 metres tall after all) – check out my flowers, aren’t they cute?
The Wedding Party:
Two flower girls: Delirious and Shra*
Two bridesmaids: Netté* and Rara*
BGS* was the father of the bride.
The groom (let’s call him): Mr. Stable
The Bride: Bouncy Brenda (a blow up doll)
The Priest: (not just any old priest) we hauled in the Bishop, also known as Jay*, he even had Mitre.
The Vows:
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today to witness the joining of this man and this inflatable love doll, (with full rounded breasts and beautiful PVC 3-D face, batteries not included) in marriage.
Love is a great thing. By itself, it makes everything that is heavy, light, and in your case, that which is already very light, even lighter – my guess is about 500 grams, give or take.
A love like yours feels no burdens, like prenuptial agreements or higher electricity bills.
It thinks nothing of trouble, like interrupted download capability or unexpected visits from the in laws.
Mr. Stable*, do you take Bouncy Brenda, whose right hand you now hold, to be your wedded wife, and do you promise to be a true and devoted husband, to hand over your credit card without batting an eyelid, to always leave the toilet seat up and always deflate and neatly fold her away after usage till death or puncture do you part? (I do)
And Bouncy Brenda, do you take this man, whose right hand you now hold, to be your wedded husband, to never talk back and not deflate in the heat of passion?
If no one has any objections, I now declare you to be Husband and Second Wife.
Congratulations. You may kiss the bride!
We are gathered here today to witness the joining of this man and this inflatable love doll, (with full rounded breasts and beautiful PVC 3-D face, batteries not included) in marriage.
Love is a great thing. By itself, it makes everything that is heavy, light, and in your case, that which is already very light, even lighter – my guess is about 500 grams, give or take.
A love like yours feels no burdens, like prenuptial agreements or higher electricity bills.
It thinks nothing of trouble, like interrupted download capability or unexpected visits from the in laws.
Mr. Stable*, do you take Bouncy Brenda, whose right hand you now hold, to be your wedded wife, and do you promise to be a true and devoted husband, to hand over your credit card without batting an eyelid, to always leave the toilet seat up and always deflate and neatly fold her away after usage till death or puncture do you part? (I do)
And Bouncy Brenda, do you take this man, whose right hand you now hold, to be your wedded husband, to never talk back and not deflate in the heat of passion?
If no one has any objections, I now declare you to be Husband and Second Wife.
Congratulations. You may kiss the bride!
It was a hoot I tell you.
I felt like I was in a wedding chapel in Vegas.
Highlights? Miss T* caught Bouncy Brenda’s bouquet.
The Barparazzi
 | ||
| {The exhausted bride: taking a nap on top of our vending machine} |
PART 2:
I went to an awards event for a certain newspaper rhyming with Times; which meant that I had to leave the “wedding” after forty five minutes – I had to go home and change the event starting at 19h00. Got home, curled my hair, got dressed, put on a bit of makeup – coordinated with Miss T* and was on my way. Luckily the venue was at a country estate not too far from my house. Got there on time but forgot my phone in the car, which meant I couldn’t get hold of Miss T for at least 25 minutes. I was wearing my highest “I’m too hot for all of this” heels and the thought of going back to the car and walking through that dust and gravel was just not an option. But, guess who I found instead…? V* and her sister! Fun times. The receiving area: they had girls suspended from chandeliers, serving sparkling wine and girls standing in the middle of round tables serving non-alcoholic Cosmopolitans (there were holes in the middle of the tables and the girls were wearing puffy dresses to create the illusion). Is it still called a Cosmopolitan when it’s non-alcoholic? Bleh! We were then shepherded into a French themed room (baroque, I think) with black and white horizontally striped Parisian chairs and red roses everywhere: roses in little vintage purses and huge bunches laid out on some of the black (some red) multi-seater curved ottomans. What we watched? There was a Fire Eater – part of the theme? I just think it’s overdone and I was worried about my hair the whole time. This dude was only a few feet away from us. I’ve got a weave, it’s still not my hair even though I bought it, it’s Indian Remy ( that’s the rumour going around – it’s shedding like a Labrador and getting tangled like two teenagers on a date) so I did not trust it not to erupt into flames in case that guy got too close *hiss*. The Burlesque Show – V* figured that one of the dancer’s X defs looked like a man; tried looking out for the Adam’s apple and finally decided that X was indeed a woman. Okayish show, I’m not convinced that this bunch practiced before they show; they weren’t in step and were wearing ill coordinated outfits – one girl was wearing an army print burlesque outfit and the others were dressed as sailors, now that I think about it I swear the other girl was dressed in a nurse’s outfit (really now?) The DJ was on point though, stayed for a bit after the awards show – exited to the song “DJ got us falling in love again”- you gotta leave while the party’s still hot. Drinks were sponsored by Hennessey, Nederburg (there was Nederburg Baronne on tap) and Boschendal.Saw the friend, turned more than a friend,blah blah blah, greeted, no hard feelings (salute, I’m a soldier girl). Very relaxed but fun night, no shenanigans. I can’t be acting the fool at industry parties. Not allowed.
I went to an awards event for a certain newspaper rhyming with Times; which meant that I had to leave the “wedding” after forty five minutes – I had to go home and change the event starting at 19h00. Got home, curled my hair, got dressed, put on a bit of makeup – coordinated with Miss T* and was on my way. Luckily the venue was at a country estate not too far from my house. Got there on time but forgot my phone in the car, which meant I couldn’t get hold of Miss T for at least 25 minutes. I was wearing my highest “I’m too hot for all of this” heels and the thought of going back to the car and walking through that dust and gravel was just not an option. But, guess who I found instead…? V* and her sister! Fun times. The receiving area: they had girls suspended from chandeliers, serving sparkling wine and girls standing in the middle of round tables serving non-alcoholic Cosmopolitans (there were holes in the middle of the tables and the girls were wearing puffy dresses to create the illusion). Is it still called a Cosmopolitan when it’s non-alcoholic? Bleh! We were then shepherded into a French themed room (baroque, I think) with black and white horizontally striped Parisian chairs and red roses everywhere: roses in little vintage purses and huge bunches laid out on some of the black (some red) multi-seater curved ottomans. What we watched? There was a Fire Eater – part of the theme? I just think it’s overdone and I was worried about my hair the whole time. This dude was only a few feet away from us. I’ve got a weave, it’s still not my hair even though I bought it, it’s Indian Remy ( that’s the rumour going around – it’s shedding like a Labrador and getting tangled like two teenagers on a date) so I did not trust it not to erupt into flames in case that guy got too close *hiss*. The Burlesque Show – V* figured that one of the dancer’s X defs looked like a man; tried looking out for the Adam’s apple and finally decided that X was indeed a woman. Okayish show, I’m not convinced that this bunch practiced before they show; they weren’t in step and were wearing ill coordinated outfits – one girl was wearing an army print burlesque outfit and the others were dressed as sailors, now that I think about it I swear the other girl was dressed in a nurse’s outfit (really now?) The DJ was on point though, stayed for a bit after the awards show – exited to the song “DJ got us falling in love again”- you gotta leave while the party’s still hot. Drinks were sponsored by Hennessey, Nederburg (there was Nederburg Baronne on tap) and Boschendal.Saw the friend, turned more than a friend,blah blah blah, greeted, no hard feelings (salute, I’m a soldier girl). Very relaxed but fun night, no shenanigans. I can’t be acting the fool at industry parties. Not allowed.
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